My heart is not pure

I’m writing this with tears streaming down my face. I just wrote a blog, and right before I was about to click “post” my computer crashed. That’s when the tears came. I’m going to say the same thing I wrote 10 minutes ago, but I’m going to be more honest this time.


My heart is not pure.

I have been feeling this heaviness in my heart for the past few weeks, and I have been praying for a change. I know that there is something so sinful inside of me that needs to be changed; the judgemental, selfish, dark Pharisee within me. The part that whispers evil things into my ear, and leaves dark stains on my heart.

Just now I was praying and reading my Bible. I was feeling broken, and felt like it was the first time I had truly prayed to God like he actually hears me in a long time. The words “pure heart” were whispered into my ear. I knew right in that moment, I need to be praying for a pure heart. I want a pure heart, Lord, and you are the only One who can purify my unclean, defiled heart.

I’m going to meditate on this for a few days. If I’m given the words, I will write a post about what God has been teaching me.

I also feel it’s necessary in this post to say one other thing, not only for you, but for me. I began this blog not to exult myself, but to exult Him. If I have said anything sinful in these posts (and I’m sure there are plenty of things) these have come from me. But, if there’s anything that has been of value, that has been God-honouring, these aren’t my words.

Thank you Jesus, for any power that you give these futile words; to you be the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Proverbs 20:9 “who can say, “I have made my heart pure; I am clean of sin”?