The Reason I Will Never Change

Today I was criticized for my faith and decision-making skills. Apparently we are an evolving species, and because of this evolution our interests, goals, and hobbies will constantly evolve in this life-time. Although I do agree that I may take up knitting when I'm a bit older, and ditch my current interest in Forever 21 clothes, the fundamental values that I hold dear to my heart will not change. So, when I make decisions that require a permanent life-long commitment, that's okay, because I won't regret these commitments later on in life.

To pay tribute to my non-changing-ness, I thought I'd write down some things about me that have not changed, and never will.

I love to journal: Ever since I knew how to write, I began to journal my thoughts and prayers. I have found journals from 1996 (I would have been 6). Over the years I have addressed my thoughts to different people: my Father God, "Dear: Journal", my pretend younger brother, my unborn child who I named "Hunter", and my Saviour Jesus, to name a few. But, the fact that I have kept a journal has not changed, nor will it ever change.

I quit before I'm finished: I have no patience! For example, I have tons of journals and none of them are finished because I'm always too excited to start a new one! I'm struggling right now to finish my incredibly thick and really boring looking journal that my mom bought me for Christmas...I keep eyeing the really cool Jesus Journals at the Christian bookstore. I also quit all sports after a few weeks of trying them, if I take up any sort of hobby they usually last a few months at the most, and I get bored of pretty much any activity that you can think of, (unless it's to do with Jesus). If you have any suggestions of an exciting activity I won't get bored of, please let me know, I've been looking for my 'thing' since I was 4!

My clothes are mostly greys, blacks, and navy blue: Ever since I could dress myself I started dressing in darker more neutral colours. When I was a child I had no other option but to dress in the beautiful dresses my mom made me, with those itchy stockings and shoes that killed my feet. Now, I love darker clothes because they're either cozy or elegant. I still love dresses, but prefer a black dress over a pink dress. However, I do accept hand-me-downs in all colours, shapes, and sizes!! :) THAT'S something that will never change!

I'm a loyal friend and family member: One thing I don't quit on is friendships or family relationships. If you're my friend, chances are you have been my friend for a very long time, and you're going to be my friend until you have to change my diaper (or I have to change yours). I don't have a lot of friends though, probably because I just don't have time for silly games or disloyalty, this is something that has never changed about me.

I want to write a novel: When I learned how to read I began to understand the power of a story. Once I began writing at about 10 or 11 I realized that I could also create stories of my own that were powerful. It has always been a personal goal of mine to write a novel, and I have had so many ideas over the years of possible stories. This will never change about me, and I hope you read my novel when it comes out, Lord willing!

I want to be a mother: I have always wanted a large family (before I understood how children were born, I wanted 6 or more kids). I do believe I can change my number to four now, but that is still a large family by today's standards! I have always wanted to be a mother and raise my children to be God-fearing adults. This is where my true passion remains, and will always be.

I have a passion for ministry: Ever since I became a Christian nearly a decade ago, I have had a passion for ministry. I've worked with children at many camps, volunteered at different Christian organizations, and been involved at my church. My heart truly desires to serve people who love Jesus, and introduce those who don't love him to the Grace found only in a relationship with Christ. I will never stop desiring to serve in ministry.

I love Jesus: I may have not acted like I loved Jesus over the years, but I do. For the past decade this fact has been working itself out, and God has been growing me and teaching me. Today, I am so proud to say that I love Jesus and will never stop. He is the reason I breathe today, he is the reason I smile today, he is the reason I write and long to share with others what he has made me. If it weren't for Jesus I would never have had the chance to write another journal, quit another sport, buy another black dress, cultivate another loyal friendship, serve in minstry, and Lord willing write a novel, and become a mother. I love Jesus, and this will never change, because Jesus is the reason that I will stand firm in what I believe and the choices that I make.